I tweeted someone for a recipe today, telling her it sounded “yummy.”
Oh my God. Why didn’t I just tell her I was having my period and needed some comfort food?
Where the heck did “yummy” come from? I can’t remember even uttering that word twice in the past ten years, and both times were to my grandson. Or am I overreacting? I mean, “yummy” isn’t really a sign of change, is it? After all, I am presently growing a Rick Bayless-style goatee…
…so that proves I’m still a guy’s guy, doesn’t it?
Still, I’m worried. I wouldn’t eat tofu with YOUR mouth, but is the proliferation of soy in processed foods raising my estrogen levels? Are my post-workout protein bars turning me into a metrosexual?
As I think about it, I actually plucked some wild eyebrow hairs last week. What’s next, setting up the DVR to series-record Brothers & Sisters?
Surely my fate isn’t sealed. There must be an antidote.
Yeah, that’s it. I think dinner tonight is a steak and three fingers of Makers Mark on the rocks.
- Repaid For His Deed
- The Blessing
- Five Reasons I Know Hell Exists
- Bondage Haiku
- Pigs Don’t Know Pigs Talk Funny
- Everything Old Is New Again
- Forever And Then Forever Again
- We Are Not Ourselves
- The Road Most Taken
- A Bloody Lip
- Follow Someone
- Upside Down
- My Thirty Six Hour Vagina
- Where Are The Elephants?
- A Titleist, An Asteroid and Stacy
- Lemmings Anonymous
- We’ve Got To Stop Meeting Like This
- The Donut Nazi
- You’re Not The Boss Of Me
- A Priest, A Minister and a Rabbi
- (Bleep) Flows Downhill
- Light At The End Of The Tunnel
- A Thousand Squirrels
- Urinal Roulette
- The El To Paradise
- A Can Of Gumout
- My Penis Lies Over The Ocean
- Grandpa’s Last Stand
- Waldo Meets His Bleeping Match
- A Bran New World
- His Highness, King Me
- Flying In Formation
- Calculating America’s Future
- Don We Now
- Curse You, Soy
- Who am I? (and am I listening?)
- At What Cost